The past several weeks have been eventfully uneventful.
I struggle each day with trying to get out of bed. I go to my psychiatrist and fertility appointments. I take my meds. But I’m looking for a break-through, not the same-old, same-old.
I want to get better. I want to live a “normal” life. I want to wake up one morning and realize that I have been cured from depression and anxiety. That I actually WANT to get out of bed because I believe I have a life that’s worth living.
I’m so tired.
Obviously, this is the voice of my depression.
But what does the voice of God say?
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
I MUST listen to and believe the voice of God over the voices of my depression and anxiety.
Even though it feels like I can’t make it through another day. Even though it seems like I have no purpose to wake up tomorrow. Even though I perceive that I am alone in this struggle…
I know the Bible says that God gives me new mercies each day (Lamentations 3:22-23). That He has a purpose and a plan prepared for me (Micah 6:8; Proverbs 3:5-6). And that He is always with me (Hebrews 13:5-6).
I MUST listen to the voice of truth.
. . .
there is a time and there is a place
where all my troubles will fade away
where my heart will be happy
where my hopes will come true
and all of it will happen because of You
. . .
I will be getting bloodwork done on Wednesday to see if I’m pregnant this cycle. I am hopeful, but also scared. I know that we haven’t been trying for a very long time…but the wait is still utterly grueling.
Please pray that I will listen to and believe God’s voice – the voice of truth – in the waiting. ❤