God has the best timing. I really don’t know how He does it. 🙂 He allowed just the right song to play on my car radio at just the right time, when I felt overwhelmed to the point of giving up.
I’ve been titrating down on the medications I take for depression, anxiety, and OCD so that my Hubby and I can try to have a child. Over the past two months I’ve gone from taking five medications to just one – and needless to say, it has been extremely difficult. My depression has worsened, my anxiety level has been sky-high, and my obsessive thoughts are almost constant. But my psychiatrist is assured that I’ll be able to handle things through deep breathing and mindfulness. Also, the constant support of the Lord and the love and encouragement from family and friends has pulled me through to this point.
The song that I heard on the radio is called “I Will Lift My Eyes,” and it is sung by Bebo Norman. I’ve heard the song before, but it was especially poignant tonight and it caused tears to stream down my face. It’s been a long time since I’ve really cried – the medicines that I’ve been taking caused me to feel very dull and rather emotionless. But it felt good to release pent-up thoughts and feelings in the form of tears, and to be uplifted by the words of the song. A few of the lyrics are:
“I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You
‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
the Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
so hold me now…”
If you’re struggling with something and you feel like there is no hope and there is no help…please don’t give up. God is there – even if it doesn’t seem like it – and He will break through the hurt, the pain, the thoughts, the fears…and speak to your heart in just the way you need, and at just the right time. How do I know? Because He promises to be our Help, and because He just did this for me.
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains –
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
The Maker of heaven and earth. ”
~ Psalm 121:1-2